Overcoming the roller coaster of 2014.

This year has been full of  disappointments, heartache, loneliness, fear, depression, lies, distrust, losing friends, hate, anger, sickness, and countless of closed doors.  Just so many let downs in 365 days. BUT on the other hand this year has been full of joys, love, peace, growth, thankfulness, new friends, happiness, opening of new doors, direction, purpose, and blessings. We had many ups and many downs in 2014. But there was one constant through all the ups and downs - that is the grace and mercy of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ!

We have gone through so much this year. As I look back, I can see all the bad things we have gone through. What I have learned through the years is that there is no bad thing you go through that the Lord will not use for good. I will be the first to admit that when I am in the middle of darkness I can not see the bright side of the mess I'm in.  BUT the Lord is always by my side!

In Deuteronomy 31:6 it says
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid of terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

and Deuteronomy 4:31
For the LORD your God is a merciful God; He will not abandon or destroy you...


Last year I saw a friends post about picking a word motto each year. When I read that, the first word that came to my mind was Faith. I thought it was such a great word that i decided to take on Faith as my word motto for 2014. Little did I know at that time but it took a whole lot of faith to get through this last year. My faith in God is what kept me strong and got me through 2014. If my faith lacked, 2014 would have been the absolute worst year of my life.

The Lord showed me that through all the highs and lows of 2014 that I needed to surrender everything to Him. By doing that I showed my faith. Yes, giving up is the easiest thing I can do. Many times I was ready to throw in the towel and walk away. But what would I gain from that? Nothing good! Putting my faith in God took a lot of hard work on my end to surrender all my future, friendships, problems, worries and my marriage to my Heavenly Father. Having the burden of fixing all of this on my own was so heavy. The Lord showed me that it was not mine to carry.

1 Corinthians 2:5
Your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your paths.

SO 2015, I do not know what you are going to bring. But I am SOOO excited for you to come. I will welcome you gladly! I know you are going to bring some good and some bad. So come, open your doors! I am ready for you because this year I choose JOY!!!

Dear Heavenly Father,
I want to thank you for growing my faith this past year. I thank you for all the dark times I had to face. In those moments it was so hard and I was so hurt but thank you! I have all the faith in you to know that you have and will be using it to mold me and using it to reach and help others. You showed me that I will be failed by everyone around me even myself. But You my Lord will always be here for me and you will never let me down.
Lord, show me the Joy that you have for me in 2015. Help me reach a new level of joy in You! Help me to have joy in the good times and most importantly in the bad times. I love you with all my heart and thank you for everything!
In Jesus name I pray
Amen

If you decide to pick a word motto what is it going to be?  I would like to pray for you!

Overcome the Inner Bully

Ever since I was young, I struggled with negative thoughts.  These negative thoughts can be a variety of thoughts. But for me, they were not the kind of thoughts towards other people, but towards myself. These thoughts consumed me. They took me down to my lowest.  I have hit rock bottom MANY times. There were many factors that triggered these thoughts but I am not going to focus on them right now.  Instead, I want to focus on how I overcame theses negative, nasty, life-controlling and life-threatening thoughts.

"You are stupid," I told myself.  "Nobody loves you.  Nobody likes you.  Just kill yourself," I always thought.  "You will never fit in.  You will NEVER amount to anything.  No one will EVER marry this piece of junk. I WANT TO DIE!"

These are just a few thoughts that consumed me every day since I could remember.  There was a bully inside me I didn't know how to control, Satan.  I was so hurt, so alone and so isolated.  High school was my HELL on earth!

I was to the point of attempting suicide. That is correct. Only by God's grace and mercy am I sitting here typing this now. During every self-harming and self-ending attempt, my loving LORD and Savior was there. But let me say, while we are saved, God still allows us to make our own decisions in life. He doesn't want to make us do what he wants, He wants us to choose to love and follow Him. We all have a free will. It just comes down to what we do with it.  

Now the thoughts I was having were NOT from the LORD! Let me say that again. THE THOUGHTS I WAS HAVING WERE NOT FROM THE LORD! I can not stress that enough! Because God is LOVE!

"For I know the thoughts that I think towards you," says the LORD, "thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

You see, I gave in to the devil's lies! For many years the devil had tried and continues to try to break me and destroy me. BUT the LORD has fought and won my battles agents Satan. When I was saved, God gave me the gift of the Holy Spirit, Who also helped me by giving me insight on choices and their circumstances.

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

To be completely honest, even after being married and having kids, I still struggle.  To this day, I get nasty thoughts about myself because the devil knows that it is my weakness.  Every time I go through a hard time or I'm hurt or betrayed, these thoughts come back.  But over the past few years, the LORD has been equipping me and showing me that with Him I have power over my negative thoughts.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10

AND here is the best part. You can take those thoughts captive and destroy them on the spot! To top it all off, it is so simple! Whenever you start to feel depressed and/or these thoughts start coming, choose to go through these 4 steps:

 1) Go to the SPA.  Stop, Pray and Ask for help.  Ask God to take a hold of those thoughts and to show you His truths.

2) Start counting your blessings.  This changes focus from negative thoughts to things you are grateful for.

3) Read God's Holy Word.  Search the scriptures for the truths you asked God to show you.

4) And start praising God!  Because He is love and will never leave you or forsake you.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be consistent in prayer." Romans 12:12

When God is the center of your thoughts, instead or yourself, you have the power over Satan! Do not let anyone tell you differently!

For years I have never talked about this.  My "dirty little secret" so to say. I have always kept everything locked up.  I was so ashamed. But the Lord has put this on my heart to share and I believe it can be used to help some of you that may be going through the pain and suffering I went through. I want you to know that YOU ARE LOVED!!!!  There is a God that is just waiting for you to fall into His arms and love you! Jesus came to this earth to suffer and die for you so you could feel and have the love of God.

"God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever shall believe in Him shall not parish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 

You may think (like I did) that if you are gone no one will miss you.  Or life for everyone else will be better if you were gone.  These are lies from Satan and nothing else!  If you are having these negative thoughts, think about your family, your future husband or wife, your future children, anybody who loves you, God who loves you.  And think about the people you can help down the road by loving them and sharing how you overcame your inner bully. God has a great plan for your life.  Trust me.  And trust Him.

"May the God of hope fill you with all hope in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

Please, please, PLEASE talk to someone for help! Whether it be someone you know, your church or through a hotline like Christian Suicide Prevention  

 888-667-5947

 http://www.christiansuicideprevention.com/

Stop letting your inner bully control you!  And start trusting in the One who holds your heart!

YOU ARE LOVED!!!

Please feel free to email me if email me if you have any questions comments or concerns at overcomebrokenness@outlook.com 

Overcoming Let Down by Looking Up

A door is open right in front of you. It is within your grasp, only a finger tip away. Then it slams shuts on your fingers and hurts (your feelings). Could it be that when we see what looks like an a open door may in fact be a mirage?  It is there to delay you.

My husband and I have seen many mirages since we have been married. We wanted so bad to be in full-time ministry that we were blinded by the dream of being in ministry. The dreams and passions that the Lord put in our hearts was turned into doubt, like it was too far fetched.  We were on a mission to be in ministry. Any opportunity that would open we would pursue.  Now, I don't recommend nor is this the best method to get where God wants you to go.

Along the way, we had some ups and downs.  Some great times, some bad times.  We have hit the bottom and then felt an avalanche fall right on top of us.  But, out of the rubble the Lord has brought out something beautiful.  We have learned from so many lessons.  It took years to get where God wanted us to be and I will tell you, I would not give back our trials and tribulations for anything.  Because out of them we have grown spiritually, learned our limits, and learned that we could only depend on God for our needs.  Through this, Jonathan and I have grown closer to each other.

God has gifted you with talents, abilities and passions for a reason.  Do not take it lightly.  You were made with a purpose and God has a plan for your life.  He did not make a mistake when He gave you your talents.  Whatever it may be, God has entrusted it to you!  Exciting and terrifying at the same time.  Isn't it?

I Peter 4:10 - Each of you should use whatever you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms.

One of my mentors reminded me of another verse when my husband and I were struggling to find God's will for us and that was I Peter 5:10 - "and the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
That was a great encouragement to us.  What a promise from the God of all grace.  Though it has felt like we have suffered for more than a little while, at the same time, He has kept his promise.

I feel that sometimes we go through these struggles to remind us that we need to humble ourselves before our Lord.  I Peter 5:5-6 says "...and God apposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand that He may lift you up in due time."  There it is again: due time.

When you are trying to seek God's will, or even follow God, it is sometimes lonely.  Whether it be unsupportive family members or other Christians who put you down because they don't believe in you or your passion.  I personally have had both.  Galatians 6:7 says, "do not be deceived.  God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows."

If God gave you your gifts, talents and passion to serve, then who are these people to tell you what you're not.  In a way, they are mocking God.  If they are sowing into you negativity, doubt and discouragement, I think it is safe to say they are not reaping any fruit in their walk with God.  It goes on to say in Galatians 6:9-10 - "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."  There it is again: proper time.  But what are we to do until then?  Stay calm and keep on doing ministry!  Use the gifts, talents and passions He has given you.  And don't forget to support and encourage your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ!

Okay.  So if you go to a church that is not supportive of you or is not helping you grow spiritually in your gifts, then GET OUT NOW!!  They aren't following what God wants them to do as Christians and they will rub off on you.  You need to find a good supporting church that practices what it preaches (if they even preach this).  "Remain in the word, be steadfast in your prayers and giving all control to the Lord." - Romans 12:12.

Pray this for yourself:

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the promises You have for me.  Thank You that you have given me these desires to use for Your glory.  Lord, You said to delight myself in You and You will give me the desires of my heart.  Lord, I pray that I will seek You all the days of my life so I can serve You in the ways You have gifted me.  Lord, please give me discernment  to know when something is Your truth and not the opinions of my oppressors.  Lord, please put Godly, biblical people in my life to help me grow and develop the gifts You have entrusted me with.  Give me the faith to not give up in furthering Your Kingdom.  Amen.

Overcoming Fear

I have felt many times the LORD calling me to do something for His glory.  Many times have I failed Him. And many times have I thought ‘Who is missing out on the Lord’s blessing that I have to give them’.

Just call me a BIG Chicken! “What am I so afraid of” you ask?

I guess you can call it the fear of being judged and just wanting to give up and run away. I was so worried of what others thought of me. For many years I lived with this shadow of fear clouding my soul keeping me 

from giving others their blessings.

By me showing this fear so many times, you might question “what is the center of my thoughts”. Myself? 

Others? How about the devil's lies he kept feeding me? Yep! I think all of the above is correct!

The LORD has sent many people into my life, the two most important being my Grandmother and Uncle (more on them in another Blog). But also someone else who lifted me up and encouraged me, who fanned the fire of my passions, who saw my pain and suffering so that I could be healed from my past, and a pastor who saw my need for a mentor and sent one my way. I am reminded of a verse in Titus 2

“Older women likewise… are to teach what is good and so train young woman to love their husbands and children.  To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their husbands that the word of God may not be reviled.”

This verse, along with my mentors, have been a great encouragement in me overcoming my fears.  And I feel that it is important for you to do the same.

Now, on the other side, the devil has sent people to tear me down and destroy me. And most of them claim to be Christians! Can you believe it?  Some of them distracted me, some of them emotionally hurt me, and some tried to tell me what the LORD’s will and plan for me were.  Others wouldn’t tell me directly.  Instead they would talk behind my back and I would still hear about it through the grape vine. And all of this hoopla leads me to think, ‘you’re not a leader, teacher or encourager. You need to fix yourself before you can help 

others’. 1 Peter 5:8 says:

    

            “The devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”

The devil can devour you in many ways: mentally, emotionally, physically.  Let me tell you, I was a little, lost lamb sitting in the middle of a field with a sign that said “Free Lunch”. Then I was reminded of the Psalms 

23:1-4

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me by beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name sake. Even thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; and your rod and staff they comfort me”.

Also 1 Thessalonians 3:3

                “But the LORD is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one”

The Lord is with me at all times, protecting me and guiding me, and He has a divine plan for my life.

Now let me ask you, “Who are these people or even myself to tell me who I am? I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM! (Believing God By Beth Moore) NOT who I or anyone else says I am!

You may feel the same way as I feel and are afraid of what people think or even yourself. You are your worst critic. In Deuteronomy 3:22

                “Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you”

And once again in Exodus 14:14

                “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

WOW! That’s it? Just be still? It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Why is it so hard for us to be still and not fight our own battles? We grow weary everyday because we try to win our battles for ourselves and our own ways.  Well, that is impossible to do without our LORD and Savior. Impossible. Deuteronomy 33:27 says

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, 'Destroy them!

You are loved very much by your Savior and likely by many others. It took a down fall in my life to see the loving people the LORD has strategically put in my path. It does not have to be the same for you. The LORD wants you to use the people He has strategically put in your path. So open your eyes, be encouraged, be lifted up, be mentored, and let the devil know his lunch isn't free anymore.

My Prayer for You

Dear Lord, You tell us to take refuge in you and you will fight our battles. I pray that you will open the heart and eyes of the ones reading this that they will seek your will and not their own. You tell us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that you did not give us the spirit of timidity but the spirit of power and love. I pray that this person will overcome their fear, whatever it may be. And the power to overcome this fear comes from you. You tell us in John chapters 15 &16 that the world will hate us but the world hated your Son first and in this world we will have trouble but we may have peace knowing that your Son has overcome the world. I pray that you will light their path and protect them from the evil one. I pray that their hearts be set on fire for you and that you would put someone in their life to fan the fire like you did for me.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.